Sleepy anxiety, why this time?

I wasn't able to get to sleep at a reasonable time last night. In the past, I would have problems getting to sleep, particularly on Sunday evenings before school or work but not recently. I think I can attribute my trouble sleeping this time to bad sleeping pattern Friday and Saturday. The Kindle HDX (7") I purchased arrived Friday, and I stayed up late playing with it. As a result, I slept in Saturday. Late Saturday evening I went on a run and didn't get to sleep until late (early the next morning), so I napped Sunday. Sunday evening, I tried doing things like walking, drinking tea, and taking a little sleeping medicine, but it didn't help. I was trying to read a book to get to sleep, but it had to do with anxiety, which may have not been a great idea either. Also, I have a habit or using electronic devices before or in bed.

As a result, I didn't want to wake up this morning. I was sleepy during the day and was anxious about feeling tired, but I had a lot to do today. I had anxiety/worry/fear about how I was feeling today, which was making me feel worse. I was also worried I was starting a pattern or cycle of having trouble sleeping and feeling anxious. I tried to correct my thinking. Having a few days of bad sleep does not mean I will keep having trouble sleeping. Feeling anxious due a lack of sleep is just that, feeling anxious due to a lack of sleep. It does not imply a pattern of upcoming anxiety or a resumption of a anxious cycle. These are all things I can live through without much trouble. Others have lived through much worse. I have lived through worse.

Issues around sleep are among my first memories of anxiety and panic. Maybe I haven't really gotten over it. I've read that a current line of thinking regarding children with anxiety is that a parent should teach the child that it is ok to feel anxious, be present for the child (to show they're not alone), make them feel safe feeling that way, empathize, and help teach them while uncomfortable, they can pass through these feelings (or float through them, as Dr. Claire Weekes might have said). That said, I may have gotten this initial message but was a difficult case. I remember worrying that I couldn't sleep, worrying how I would feel the next morning. I worried that I wouldn't be able to function the next day and wouldn't be able to wake up. I felt very aware of time, noting if I feel asleep "now", I would only get a certain number of hours of sleep, and as time passed, my worrying would get worse. I felt alone and panicky. Sometimes I would get panicky, want to get up and walk around, but just end up pacing. I felt like I was the only one feeling that way. Perhaps against good messages, I also got messages that I should just go to bed, not worry about it, and stop making a big deal about it (for goodness sake). Others needed to sleep too.

And I really need to go to sleep now before I set myself up for a repeat performance.