Group and feelings

I go to a group on Wednesdays. Today, I brought up how Christmas and New Years was for everyone but didn't get a chance to talk about mine. Both of the other people there had difficult family issues to bring up that brought up emotions for them. I didn't. There is a more balanced and more accurate way to put this, but I was asked if I was getting anything out of the group. I said I was and gave an example. One of the leaders of the group was curious what brought that question up, and the answer was that while maybe they couldn't read me that well yet, that I didn't seem to express much emotions. That got me feeling defensive. I've started to notice that people tend to evoke feelings in others like this when they're touching on an issue or insecurity of the other person, so I think I need to explore the source of that in myself.

It was specifically mentioned that both of the others had got upset and cried at times I have not. My immediate reaction was that I am a guy, and it is hard to make me cry, but that I had felt emotions and sadness well up hearing them talk about what they were dealing with. I know that talk about not noticing emotion in me touches a nerve with me. I am analytical. Also, I fear that I come off as not emotional or feeling when I am not anxious or upset/angry. My tendency to argue and times that I am quick to anger feels like it comes from parents and ethnicity, I think. I don't feel I make as many connections as others, and I wonder if I shouldn't focus on that. I wonder if it would help me to work in a more people focused job or at least a job where there are more people in my department.

I mostly felt ok during the meeting. After the meeting, I had planned to run and didn't. On the way home and at home, I felt anxious and a bit down. Combined with that, my parents talked about going on a long trip for half a year or so, which strangely affected me. I think that may have been related to how I was already feeling. I wasn't feeling great at the time and didn't want to feel there would be less people closely present for me, if needed. It's hard for me to see any progress I have made lately and not feel that everything is the same. I fear a setback, a disappointment, or a fall when I should see hope, room for improvement, and progress. Thinking the negative thoughts does not make the positive results I hope for any more likely and may marginally make the thing I fear slightly more likely to happen.