Have to be right?

This aspect bothers me, but sometimes I feel like I have to be right and will argue over silly things. I'm not sure if I am more concerned with being right or not being wrong and maybe the distinction is not important. There are things about which I am ok with admitting being mistaken and people with whom I can admit being incorrect. Tonight, I was totally ok with admitting to my brother that his wireless router might not do what I thought it could do.

I think it comes down to my feeling of trust or comfort with the person, how important I think the subject is to me, and whether I think I should know the answer. It is as if I feel like my value as a person is related to knowing and being right about things. It may be that I think I am unlovable if I am wrong. Some measure of this may come from that we're judged and graded in school on being right and knowing things and are made to feel good or bad based on the results on homework, tests, and report cards to teachers and parents. I think I have exaggerated feelings about it though.

Again, I wonder if my feelings are not nuanced enough. I think right or wrong are extremes. A person can make a mistake or be mistaken, be partially correct, or be partially incorrect. More important, there is value in being mistaken through knowing your limitations and learning new things. When someone finds out we're wrong, and not negligently so, they may be slightly disappointed, but their disappointment is usually only about the thing itself.

Finally, I think I confuse a thing I can be at the time and about a subject with who I am. I think I am not giving people enough credit in their judgements in assuming the hurt, disappointment, or taking back love/affection. I am not sure how to fix this. Maybe more communication and the right people would help me learn these lessons.